Horror Movie Reviews

Teeth Review

Teeth Review

Reviewed by Nyquill of The Gutter

 

I’ve been waiting a along time to see this flick and I was hoping it wasn’t a let down. I know it really was not going to be scary but in regards to a no nonsense monster flick, man I have to say I got everything I wanted. The film is a nice little treat for anyone looking for something different. So our tale follows Dawn a young pro abstinent lady with desires to speak to the youth about the dangers of premarital sex. The problem is she knows she is the cure all disease for sex mixed in one lovely young female. So where does the body count come from you say? How about from the young eager men and an ob gyn that gets exactly what he deserves. There are a lot of crazy elements in this film. Just the family it self is weird because the mom and dad are cute but the son is fucked up. I think it may have something to do with the fact that he tried to finger our heroine at a very young age and got a lot more that what he bargained for. I think if all the girls pants I wanted to get into when I was in high school but I always stayed away from the I want to be a virgin chicks, now I know why. They may have had teeth in there vaginas. Solid acting all the way through but I would like to see her take out more assholes and maybe even a bull dike or 2. It still was a sweet film but there really is not much to say about it because like I stated earlier it was not scary. Definitely a dark humor horror. Kinda like a cross between May and the Lorena Bobbitt tale. I think it’s a film they should show in boys health class to deter them from rape. I wonder where this will hit TV wise due to the fact the sex scenes were alive and in your face. She seems to have sex with a guy she likes and as long as she is relaxed, but the minute you piss her off the teeth come out. The town is around a nuclear waste facility kinda like a simpson 3 eyed fish deal, they could have played more off that but I think having the air of it in the background worked well also. Ever seen cruel intentions? Think if Ryan Phillipe finally got a chance to fuck Sarah Michelle Gellar and he was in it for revenge, That’s kinda what the end seems like. I suggest you get that special someone talked about your first time, drink a glass of wine and enjoy!

9/10

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