British Horror

Donkey Punch Review

 

Donkey Punch Review

Reviewed by Nyquill of The Gutter

 

OK, now there is a thin line in the horror world between sex and gore. I personally am all for it. I’ve never really been attracted to just T&A in films unless it was hard bodies or something like that but I think its for sure necessary in slasher flicks to have some ripe young couple having sex see some tits then enter the boogeyman. But, what about a movie involving a sexual act killing someone. Hows that for horror fun? How about no fun at all. Thats what I got out of our little film here let me tell you about it.

So a couple of sluts are out on vacation and they run across a couple blokes (it’s a British film) that are also out partying. They tell the ladies they are sailors and they are wanting them to come back for some fun under the sun. Of course the girls agree except for one but they convince her to come aboard when she sees their first captain and thinks he’s pretty good looking. So all aboard they go and they are doing what your typical adolescents do, drinking , doing drugs, and heating each other up talking about sex. They start mentioning positions and what not when one of the wankers talks about the Donkey Punch. Not to be confused with DP of Aqua teen hunger force. This is when you are hitting it from the back and right before the man comes he punches the girl in the back of the neck. Myth has it that it’s a climax the girl will never forget. Man they aren’t lying. So the kids drop some E finish off their drinks then it’s time for some action. The bitch of the crew doesn’t join because she is making eyes at co captain sailor boy and the other 2 head downstairs with the rest of the 3 guys to get a little nasty. Thats when things start to pick up. One guys is fucking one of the sluts while the other 2 are tag teaming the other. When one guys pops behind for doggystyle he gives the nod that he about to cum and the guy videotaping is urging him to do it. Of course this guy is the weakest link and he does and he punches the shit out the girl and she dies instantly. Everyone freaks out party is over and who’s got the next best seller on youtube? The blokes do thats who and these winy little girls who just lost their friends can’t do anything about or can they. So this is when the movie gets extremely boring as sides are chosen allies are made and lost and only few survivors remain. It was definitely more of a suspense thriller than a horror movie and all the deaths instead of the donkey punch was cheap. You get a feel during the movie that the directors and writers may have had a unique idea, but they ran out of them as production went along. The movie just dragged and the whole time you are watching it you want them to kill these bitches and get it over with. But thats what movies are for right. I’ll tell you one thing I’m on the hunt for some authentic Donkey Punch films to see what really happens because believe me I think these guys got a little out of hand with it. I’ll give them a little for kinda being original but I will for sure stay away from any movies called dirty sanchez!

2/10donkey-punch

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